Clouded Reflections
April 6, 2018
Often, I wonder,
If anything truly matters.
With the stories of cultures long past,
And the faint ghost sound of a Celtic drummer,
The beliefs of my youth shatter.
History stretches long and vast
With the bodies of the peaceful,
And the hostile alike
Piling high until seeping
Down
Down
Down
Into Mother Earth’s tear-soaked embrace.
And for what, but the advancement of
Greed, pride, and power
Cloaked with the guise of religion and moral integrity.
As I inhale the breath of stars,
And feel the solid earth beneath me
As though the Mother took her hands
And supported my weight,
I long for the insight my Gods can give.
Yet, even then, I wonder at my own beliefs
For how can you believe in something you cannot see?
Perhaps it would be simpler to not believe,
Only believing in
Molecules,
Metalwork,
And the solid flesh and bone of animal.
Then the Crusades would have never happened;
The scalding breath of arguments
Of the “true” religion would be dissipated smoke.
Instead, a great beacon of understanding
Would fall upon mankind,
And there would not be judgement.
Yet – and perhaps I am a child in this,
Searching for truth in fairy tales –
A world without the wonder of things unseen
Seems desolate and colorless to me.
In the blanket of Nyx,
I gaze with longing into the face of the Goddess
Who has been named Diana, Frigga, Isis,
Hecate, Cerridwen, and many other names
Of which to label the divine,
And feel a homesickness for a place
that has never existed solidly.
I am not alone in this sentiment;
And if people can feel this deeply
For beliefs that are smoke
drifting through searching fingers,
Then perhaps . . .
It does matter.