Have you Seen a Bird Since the Shutdown?

Matty Mendez, Reporter

If your answer is no, I have some intriguing news for you. It is 1000% possible that your run-of-the-mill small bird species variations (sparrows, wrens, robins, the common pigeon) are mass-produced government drones for surveillance purposes. We ‘domesticate’ and allow these birds into our homes or around our properties and all the while they monitor us for data.

It’s a perplexing assertion, however, it is not as far-fetched as it initially seems. In the summer of 2018, the Chinese government launched a fleet of bird drones to survey it’s populace. These drones, which were reportedly installed with features like a high-definition camera, GPS antenna, flight control system and a data link with satellite communication capability, according to, Timothy R. Heath, senior international defense research analyst at global policy think tank The RAND Corporation, “extend the government’s surveillance to a frightening new level.”

And, if it proved successful for the Chinese government, who’s to say that high-ranking United States security officials could not covertly replicate this development? However, in the event of a government shutdown, a bird-surveillance division would take inferiority when considering funding and what government-funded ventures should remain open.

All I am proposing is to examine your neighborhood flock just a bit closer.